Master Harry Potter?

Warning: Twisted joke. Only those who know the Dobby will understand.



Q. What do you call an angry Dobby?

A. Iyengar


(go figure)

Dr. Manmohan Singh's Telecom Policy

When asked about his govt's 3G policy, Dr. Manmohan Singh replied,"Why 3G? Isn't 2G enough? Don't we already have Sonia G and Rahul G?"

INWASTEMENT BANKING

Some new names for upcoming investment banks!

J P MORON
MORGON STUPIDLY
LAYMAN BHAIS(this one will start in surat)

Is Sam Sung the Recincarnation of Sam Singh?

Really, is it?

His Dreams and Our Dreams

If all of us have dreams, does Micheal Phelps have wet dreams?

Food With Parents

If one is having food with parents, is an item containing Palak a must-have?

How Will Stock Brokers Celebrate?

How will stock brokers celebrate when the markets come up?

By giving a Dalal's treat to their friends?!

James Blunt Is Aishwarya Rai's Brother

If James Blunt were Aishwarya Rai's brother, would he be called James Bunt?

Frito not! Help is here!

1. If the Dalai Lama loves Lays, what would you call him?

-- A 'Chip Monk'

2. If you ate one of these that the Dalai Lama has bought, what would you be taking?

-- A chip off the 'Old Monk'

Mind Your Own Business

What would one call a psychiatrist's business if he is not doing well?

A shrinking business?!

Sarkar Raj In Kannada

What would Sarkar Raj be named if it were made in Kannada?

Sarkar Rajkumar?

KANOON contd.

If a person gets divorced what will he call his "in-laws"?



OUTLAWS!


P.S. all out for one loss? (read wife)

Casting coup

Check this coca-cola ad



and then take a look at this pepsi's spoof of a thums up ( a coca cola brand ) ad




Do you see the presence of a certain guy ( with goatie ) in both ads?

JUMBLE BOOK!

Do you "C OPRAH" ? Do you like it ? Then look what you like .....

OPRAHC
OHPRAC
OHCPRA

"OH CRAP"


WINFREE!!!

Broken Arrow

It really is, isn't it?

Kanoon Mein Tumhaari Maa

How would a lady be related to you if she were to come up to you and say -

Kanoon mein main tumhaari maa lagti hoon?

She'd be your Mother-in-law!

Naidu Noodles From Andhra Pradesh

If people from Andhra Pradeh start making noodles, what will they be called?

Reddy To Eat Noodles?

HOLY HAIN?

what is this, holy racial abuse?

Dalmiya Kuch Kaala Hai!

What did Shri Prakash Tiwari say after reading this news article?


Dalmiya arrested for fund embezzlement, gets bail

Dalmiya kuch kaala hai?

If dominos made condoms!

How would dominos advertise its condoms?



HORNY KYA?


p.s. 30mins nahi toh free??

T R I A ( right and wrong!)

Just wondering can we ask a girl to strip naked under the RIGHT TO INFORMATION ACT?

Favourite Band Of Internet People

Favourite band of internet people is Broadband, isn't it?

TOY STORY ( Reader descretion advised)!

This is a story of
Mr DIck and Sword.

Mr Dick : Pen(is) naughtier than the sword !
Mr Dick(excited now stands up!) : Pen(is) mightier than the sword!
Sword : Sword cuts pen(i)s!
End of story.

What Australians Wear?

Do the Australians wear Down Underwears? Just thinking.

LINGUA LAAL!

After our english IMS class (for cat) we (some jobless ppl) decided on some lingos in hindi for general categorization!

Mein bahut hi seedha saadha ladka hoon. (read : I AM STRAIGHT!)
Mein bahut khush hoon. (read : I AM GAY)
Mein kam behen hoon. (read : I AM LESSBEN)

P.S. I figured out the full form of ims atleast. (I M S = I M STRAIGHT!)

PEER PRESSURE!

What exactly do you do when you are under peer pressure?

YOU PEE!

And the oscar goes to

ADVERSETISEMENT

I thought this can be the name on a 'Sandles for girls' ad :



THINK BEFORE YOU WINK!

Mode of saying!

My friend Vijay (Google employee!)'s gtalk status message:

he was so mean to say u were average!

Hrithik Lotion And Sania Pizza

Hrithik Lotion and Sania Pizza would make wonderful brand names, no? Just thinking.

Monkey Tales

Behind every successful man there is.......

A monkey!!!


And behind a monkey there is a tail! :)

DO's and DONT'S

What did the Dodo have to say to the rapist?


DOnt'DO'!

P.S. Birds don't cry ..... they fly!

The Sexhaustive List

All of this is purely on a sexistential level. And if it leaves you sexasperated, we're all the more glad. That sexactly our purpose. Hail God! He'll be proud of us.

• Donald Fuck

• Uncle Screwed

• Sexpeare

• As You Lick It
• 
  
• A Midsummer Wet Night's Dream

• Merchants of Penis
• 
  
• Charles Dickens wrote Hard Times (Old, but still)

• The Rape of Lucrece (Now, this is a work by Shakespeare)

• Taming Of The Screw

• Julius Screwher

• You Two, Brutus?

• Much Do Do About Nothing

• Romeo And NotScrewedYet

• Calvin And Boobs

• Tittin

• Captain Cock
  

A Musical Sexercise

• Sex Pistols(They're a band, but still)

• Chixy Dicks

• Rolling Groans
  

Please contribute generously to this sexy cause.

Shit happens!

What is the study of Anus called?


Analogy!!

P.S. Shit happens from here!! :)

Of R.E.M And The Right Frequency

Most of us have heard of the R.E.M song Everybody Hurts [ YouTube link] . Now how would an RJ with a sense of humour like ours(huh!) and some knowledge of radio introduce this song?

Everybody Hertz?

Michael Stipe would surely approve. Why then, would he compose this song - What's the Frequency, Kenneth?

CHUCK THIS!

What did the World Bank had to say for the money India borrowed from it?

Check De INDIA!

P.S. I think one day Bollywood will clear India's debts. :)

PJ ka title hota hai kya?

Me to Arindam (who's sporting a sprinkling of hair after going bald recently):
What goes on in ur head when u think?

Arindam starts thinking.

Me : Fuzzy logic!

GK Pjs

The below are originals from my kid sister(copied ad-verbatim), my other source of Pjs apart from CircusMouse.

which is the most slippery country?
-greece

which country has the most number of fish?
-finland!

how many cops does it take to screw a light bulb in?
-none because the lightbulb turned itself in!!

what is the difference between illegal and unlawful?
-unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird(ill-eagle)

Sardar 's Santro !

After the success of Santro xing, the hyndai people started a new car for the common sardar. Guess what was it called?


Santro Singh!!

P.S. :- Introducing 'Santro singh' with free mp3 player 'THE SANTRO THAT SING(H)S!!

Trigonometry

I just now found out that there is sin in trigonometry be cos there is a sec C tan in the figure!

P.S:- THE world is a 'sin C'ity! :(dirty mind :)

What If Java Programmers Don't Like Something?

What do Java programmers do when they don't like something?

They take an exception to it?

Exceptional post this one, no? Huh.

BOLLYWOOD HOLLYWOOD!

What is common to the movies DEVDAS and PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN ?
Drunken heroes. o k there is something more to it..
I ll tell you a secret then :

Jack s'parro'w ('Jack' is 'paro')

'Hung'ry Karnataka

Karnataka has a hung assembly. Karnataka's farmers are hanging themselves (to death not hanging out in a bar, they do it on neera( local liquor) but nevermind they are dying either way. That is what counts).

So what is the big deal in the both hanging themselves you wonder?
I just proved an age old indian saying 'yathha raaja tathaa prajaa' [ like the king so the subjects]

PS. You would be wondering why it is titled hungry ... actually I was like hungry while writing it :D so you know; empty stomach make stupid noises!

Pity Thy 'Pie'

There has always been confusion around the value of mathematical constant pi -  3.14 ,3.14159.


Not long  ago, the state of Indiana in the U.S. set the value to 3.


Now that's what we should call an AMERICAN PIE! Short and sweet. 



PS. Perhaps the Pais in Mangalore area in Karnataka will have an issue with it. Now that the value has been shortened!

PPS. Pi Day

Diamong Ring And Carbon Dating

If you propose to your beloved with a diamond ring on a date, would you call it Carbon Dating ?



PS. Beware! It also has a HALF LIFE !

PPS. Carbon Dating and Half Life. Beware again! These are highly active links.

Holy Cow!

What did the cow had to say when the cheese was stolen ?

Who 'moo'ed my cheese.

PS. OK people, if you weren't able to laugh, just saying cheese would've helped me :)

What Is India? What Do They Say?

One of the best things about the internet, apart from the now-closed thirst-quenching site which sounded like Daisybaba and this wonderful blog, is the Urban Dictionary with contributions by wordly wise users across the world.

Ran a search on India on UD and the results offer some interesting insights into what the world thinks of India.

Fun India Definitions On Urban Dictionary

India

India is a country.

Women: What is India?
Man: Bitch, it's a country.
______________________________________________

india

Where every company outsources our jobs to.

"Thank you for calling HP, please hold while we transfer you to a customer service representative."
______________________________________________

India

The country to which our white collar jobs are being shipped.

Don't blame the Republicans. The liberal twits planned to send our jobs there years ago, as part of the plan to lower our country to the same level as Chad.

If you want to talk to someone in India, just call tech support.

_____________________________________________

india

A sub-standard or expedient delivery solution to a computer related production issue

Man that cartoon used to have mint illustration but lately its india as

_____________________________________________

india

Where your computer was built. Also a good place to catch a tropical disease.

India is a high tech country with low-tech sanitation.

_____________________________________________

india

It smells.

Ew, stinky stinky India.
_____________________________________________

India

A country that worships cows instead of Mcdonald's.

For every McDonald’s created, there is a cow in India being worshiped.

A country that is strongly against child labour.

Where telemarketers are born.
_____________________________________________

India

A place where people will do for $3.00 an hour a job an american won't do for $10.00

Dude #1:"Man, all those bastards from India are stealing all our jobs!"
Dude #2:"There's always McDonalds..."

_____________________________________________


Aw, this is exaggerated, but demands attention.

India

A country whose population will be 90% male in a 100 years due to sex-selective infanticide.

The midwife came to the indian household and helped the wife give birth. After finding out the baby was a she, she turned it upside down, gave it a quick jerk, snapped its spinal column and declared it stillborn. The parents were relieved because now they don't have to pay dowry in 15 years time.

I don't hate India I am just horrified by this practice. I don't care if the economy is growing like mad, an all-male country with no females has no future.

_____________________________________________

Now here's a definition that we're now so familiar with that we can even reel off the numbers in our sleep. Keep going, proud sons of Mother India on the internet.


India

A lot of definitions seem to arise from hate filled and jealous pakistanis.

India is longest living civilisation of the world--the civilisation which gave world's first university, mathematics and medicine--

Its coming up--watch out
20 years and it will be right on top.

12% of scientists in the US are Indians
38% of doctors(physicians, dentists, PhDs, etc) in America are Indian.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.

Bolo Bharat Mata ki...Jai. But what about Veeru?

PS. My contributions to the Urban Dictionary.

The Essential Rakhi Sawant Quiz

The Essential Rakhi Sawant Quiz

• When was Rakhi Sawant born?
  
• On Raksha Bandhan day

• Which is Rakhi Sawant's favourite movie?
  
• Ab Tak Chhappan. Why? Because the director is Vishram Sawant.

• Why does Rakhi Sawant not want to go the Arab States?
• Because there are oil rigs there and she doesn't like rigging.
  

• Why did Rakhi Sawant meet Dawood Ibrahim?
  
• Because she also wanted to go to Big Brother(Bada Bhai) like Shilpa Shetty.

Mathematical arguments

Saala, Bhansali!

One would perhaps say that on this news. Wah Sanjaybhai! Aap ki Leela apaar hai!

New Year Resolution

Let me begin with the usual greeting...are wahi, "Yappie New Year". Its one of those traditions common across the world that goes around this time of the year. It goes along with another such tradition, NEW YEAR RESOLUTION. Ok...best of luck with that.

Guess what is Bhopu's New Year resolution this time around.

1280 by 1024

Hmmm, I think you get the big picture.

A Rebel Mathematician

What would you call a rebel mathematician?

Rebel with a cos?

PS. All the signs and cosines here.