Dr. Manmohan Singh's Telecom Policy

When asked about his govt's 3G policy, Dr. Manmohan Singh replied,"Why 3G? Isn't 2G enough? Don't we already have Sonia G and Rahul G?"

How Will Stock Brokers Celebrate?

How will stock brokers celebrate when the markets come up?

By giving a Dalal's treat to their friends?!

Sarkar Raj In Kannada

What would Sarkar Raj be named if it were made in Kannada?

Sarkar Rajkumar?

Naidu Noodles From Andhra Pradesh

If people from Andhra Pradeh start making noodles, what will they be called?

Reddy To Eat Noodles?

Dalmiya Kuch Kaala Hai!

What did Shri Prakash Tiwari say after reading this news article?


Dalmiya arrested for fund embezzlement, gets bail

Dalmiya kuch kaala hai?

Hrithik Lotion And Sania Pizza

Hrithik Lotion and Sania Pizza would make wonderful brand names, no? Just thinking.

'Hung'ry Karnataka

Karnataka has a hung assembly. Karnataka's farmers are hanging themselves (to death not hanging out in a bar, they do it on neera( local liquor) but nevermind they are dying either way. That is what counts).

So what is the big deal in the both hanging themselves you wonder?
I just proved an age old indian saying 'yathha raaja tathaa prajaa' [ like the king so the subjects]

PS. You would be wondering why it is titled hungry ... actually I was like hungry while writing it :D so you know; empty stomach make stupid noises!

What Is India? What Do They Say?

One of the best things about the internet, apart from the now-closed thirst-quenching site which sounded like Daisybaba and this wonderful blog, is the Urban Dictionary with contributions by wordly wise users across the world.

Ran a search on India on UD and the results offer some interesting insights into what the world thinks of India.

Fun India Definitions On Urban Dictionary

India

India is a country.

Women: What is India?
Man: Bitch, it's a country.
______________________________________________

india

Where every company outsources our jobs to.

"Thank you for calling HP, please hold while we transfer you to a customer service representative."
______________________________________________

India

The country to which our white collar jobs are being shipped.

Don't blame the Republicans. The liberal twits planned to send our jobs there years ago, as part of the plan to lower our country to the same level as Chad.

If you want to talk to someone in India, just call tech support.

_____________________________________________

india

A sub-standard or expedient delivery solution to a computer related production issue

Man that cartoon used to have mint illustration but lately its india as

_____________________________________________

india

Where your computer was built. Also a good place to catch a tropical disease.

India is a high tech country with low-tech sanitation.

_____________________________________________

india

It smells.

Ew, stinky stinky India.
_____________________________________________

India

A country that worships cows instead of Mcdonald's.

For every McDonald’s created, there is a cow in India being worshiped.

A country that is strongly against child labour.

Where telemarketers are born.
_____________________________________________

India

A place where people will do for $3.00 an hour a job an american won't do for $10.00

Dude #1:"Man, all those bastards from India are stealing all our jobs!"
Dude #2:"There's always McDonalds..."

_____________________________________________


Aw, this is exaggerated, but demands attention.

India

A country whose population will be 90% male in a 100 years due to sex-selective infanticide.

The midwife came to the indian household and helped the wife give birth. After finding out the baby was a she, she turned it upside down, gave it a quick jerk, snapped its spinal column and declared it stillborn. The parents were relieved because now they don't have to pay dowry in 15 years time.

I don't hate India I am just horrified by this practice. I don't care if the economy is growing like mad, an all-male country with no females has no future.

_____________________________________________

Now here's a definition that we're now so familiar with that we can even reel off the numbers in our sleep. Keep going, proud sons of Mother India on the internet.


India

A lot of definitions seem to arise from hate filled and jealous pakistanis.

India is longest living civilisation of the world--the civilisation which gave world's first university, mathematics and medicine--

Its coming up--watch out
20 years and it will be right on top.

12% of scientists in the US are Indians
38% of doctors(physicians, dentists, PhDs, etc) in America are Indian.
36% of NASA scientists are Indians.
34% of Microsoft employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL scientists are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.

Bolo Bharat Mata ki...Jai. But what about Veeru?

PS. My contributions to the Urban Dictionary.

The Essential Rakhi Sawant Quiz

The Essential Rakhi Sawant Quiz

• When was Rakhi Sawant born?
  
• On Raksha Bandhan day

• Which is Rakhi Sawant's favourite movie?
  
• Ab Tak Chhappan. Why? Because the director is Vishram Sawant.

• Why does Rakhi Sawant not want to go the Arab States?
• Because there are oil rigs there and she doesn't like rigging.
  

• Why did Rakhi Sawant meet Dawood Ibrahim?
  
• Because she also wanted to go to Big Brother(Bada Bhai) like Shilpa Shetty.

Saala, Bhansali!

One would perhaps say that on this news. Wah Sanjaybhai! Aap ki Leela apaar hai!

Madhuri's Halwa

Madhuri's Laddoos would have perhaps been a more appropriate cheesy title for this post.

Anyway, we have now seen the back of Madhuri - her back in the movie poster and she possibly going back to being the second most beautiful mom in the world. The first of course, is Britney Spears.





























According to reports, and not Madhuri's pregnancy reports, Madhuri is contemplating on opening a sweet shop. So sweet, na? And reports also say that the shop will have an official soundtrack to which the entire Aaja Nachle team is being roped in for the video. They hope to make some money out of this at least. Not from the music or the video, but from the sale of sweets.

Now what would the top song from the sweet album?

Show Me Your Halwa?

My Good Friend Mani

If a good friend of mine is named Mani, is it imperative that he be from Manipal? Think about it. Maybe this is as close as one can get to being Mangalored.

Chandler Goes Missing

Chandler suddenly goes missing and Marta Kauffman and co. decide to make a Bollywood movie with the remaining actors in memory of Chandler. What is the name of the movie?

Khoya Khoya Chand(ler)?



















PS. Khoya Khoya Chand

Toilet For The Bald

When Shri Devegowda was the Prime Minister, he had commissioned a special project to build toilets for the bald. The innovative design for the toilets would make sure the ceiling of these toilets would be 78.5% leaky so that a drop of water would fall every 2.3 seconds on their heads. Now what would be the name of these special toilets?

Tak-loo?

Dr. Manmohan Singh's Om Shanti Om

If Dr. Singh were to dance to get rid of the pain in his Left foot, which one would it be?

Sard-E-Disco

Sreesanth And His Shop

Sreesanth, on his retirement, opens a shop selling dance costumes. And with every purchase, one gets a free DVD of his performance after the sixer off Andre Nel. Huh. What will his name be then?

Freesanth

Diwali And Hindu-Muslim Unity

And for once, we're not joking. Seriously. In these seemingly troubled times, as a young thing would say - "Oh! there's still no World Peace yet, and do not even talk about poverty and hunger. Those malnourished kids from Africa they show on Discovery? Man, I couldn't even have my dinner that day", what is a heartening sign for us in India about Diwali?

That there's an Ali in Diwali!

Reading between the lines helps, no?

PS. The skipping dinner part, for the young thing, was anyway part of the diet regimen. So much for hunger and poverty. And World Peace. Huh.

Urban Singh

What would call an urban Sardar?

Turban?

Maano Ya Na Maano

Now that Sanjay Dutt is in jail, away from his lady love, what song will he be heard singing in jail?

Dil Hai Ki Manyata Nahin.

Comic 'Times of India'

Recently overheard a rant by a Times of India reporter about the headline he proposed to his editor for the Abhi-Ash wedding:

Abhi Ash, baad mein cash!